Helping Children Cope with DivorceFOR PARENTS
At Talk Mediation, we are confident that our process is far healthier for both the parties of the divorce and their children. Through mediation, children will not see their parents as enemies, but continuing on as partners well after the divorce is final.
Why is mediation smarter than litigation when it comes to helping children cope with divorce?
PARENTS ARE COLLABORATIVE, NOT COMBATIVE
At Talk Mediation, our attorney-mediators help the parties to approach their divorce and the needs of their children as a team. Parents work together to figure out how they can co-parent their children cooperatively, leaving the children feeling protected and safe with the knowledge that both parents will not only be there for them, but for one another during the children’s upbringings.
In traditional, adversarial divorce, lawyers encourage parents not to communicate. By the time the divorce is settled, the parties hold a great deal of resentment toward one another and this resentment is felt by the children. Children are often asked to pick sides in adversarial divorces and are asked difficult questions about their parents which can produce feelings of sorrow and betrayal.
The differences between litigation and mediation are vast and, when it comes to the impact of divorce on children, the right choice is obvious.
CHILDREN ARE PRIORITY, NOT PAWNS
At Talk Mediation, our attorney-mediators typically start with the most common interest to both parties; the children. When parties make their children the priority, they begin the mediation process working as a team. They learn how to communicate, how to plan, and how to work together to ensure a positive upbringing for their kids.
As long as the children are taken care of, the rest of the issues begin to feel much easier to tackle. In adversarial divorce, lawyers like to use the children as pawns to their case rather than priorities. They use them as tools in regards to child support, the family home and, of course, in custody battles.
The parties end up fighting over children who really just want things to remain peaceful. Kids love both their parents and want to spend time with both.
THE FOCUS IS THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILDREN
At Talk Mediation, our attorney-mediators help the parties decide what is truly best for the children based on the circumstances in which they all live. The children’s best interests dictate the discussions and, in the end, the children feel the positive effects of mediation while the negative effects of divorce are diminished because everyone is on the same page.
In court, lawyers are obligated to look out for the best interest of their client, not their client’s children. This means saving their clients money in child-support, sometimes, by placing the children in a way which really isn’t in their best interest at all. This is one of the main reasons our attorneys at Talk Mediation left the courtroom in favor of mediation.
While the children have a voice in the courtroom, through their court assigned attorney, their voice is often skewed because they feel obligated to one parent or the other or they have been coached. At Talk Mediation, the court does not decide what is best for the children.
At Talk Mediation, that is left up to the parents, which is exactly how it should be.